Why Lebron Left

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It's a done deal: Lebron has left Cleveland. Now why, as a physician, would I even mention this?

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How is Why Lebron Left

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Turns out, Lebron is from my hometown. My daughter knows where he lives - everyone does. I was talking to a doctor friend of mine recently who said people stop him when he rides his bike to ask for directions to Lebron's house (which he gladly gives). They live over in the rich section of town, a beautiful area, much nicer than Miami.

I respect Lebron. I respect his talent. I respect that in his post-game interviews he has given freely of his time, and I've never heard him bad-mouth anyone. He's the same age as my son, graduated from high school the same year, and has certainly chosen to deal with stressors that most 'kids' his age never have to address. I know his life is not perfect, and that he continues to face challenges common to all of us.

But back to the question, why did Lebron leave? I heard him say on multiple occasions that he wanted to win championships, and I believe him. Maybe he could do this in Cleveland, maybe not. I can see that it would be frustrating to be recognized as the best player in basketball, yet not win the highest prize. Are you really the best if your team is not? I understand that he wants to push himself to the limit, to grab the golden ticket. Winning is very important in America, especially for men, especially for those raised in a disadvantaged home.

But Lebron's hometown cared if he stayed. And his hometown is Akron, not Cleveland. In fact, our pastor mentioned some billboards I hadn't seen, urging Lebron to stay. The billboards consisted of single words: Family. Mission. Home. People wanted him to stay because they wanted him to affirm the value of his friends, his people, his family. From the community's point of view, we wanted our 'hero' to remain our hero and friend. It always hurts when someone leaves the nest. It always makes those left behind feel as if we're somehow unworthy.

I'm not really a sports fan (ever since my own kids graduated from high school sports). But I wanted Lebron to stay. The people in Akron, in Cleveland, in Ohio would have loved him forever. When parents desert their offspring, children always suffer. When heroes desert their followers, they feel rejected, unloved, unimportant.

But when I look at other men his age, my own son included, they're rarely at the point in their lives when they understand this. Sure, they understand intellectually. They understand very well when someone abandons them. But they don't yet see it clearly when the shoe is on the other foot. For them, proving themselves is supreme, probably biologic. Manhood is defined by achievement, not loyalty.

And dare I say it? It's just a game. Maybe Lebron comprehends this better than we do.

So I understand why Lebron left, and hope he reaches his dream. It's wonderful to rejoice with someone who achieves his fondest hope. There's nothing wrong with trying to win - nothing wrong except, perhaps, for the message it sends. But he's not yet old enough to move beyond winning.

Will he be back? I don't know. But already he's given to our community. I think he recognizes that his many blessings confer on him the responsibility to give back. Let's send him off with a hero's farewell. Let's wish him the best and make him glad to come home. Let's send him the message that we love him anyway, whether he plays basketball in Cleveland or not. He is, after all, our family and friend.

Copyright 2010 Cynthia J. Koelker, M.D.

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